Silent Butler
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 Silent Butler
For the many of you with an aging parent who requires care, here is an inspirational book. Reeve Lindbergh’s style reminds me of her mother’s, a soft, gentle use of words that is soothing. She shares the heart-warming, loving, and sad journey of gradually losing a parent.
My Mom used to read Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s books, and she particularly liked Gift from the Sea, so I felt an instant connection to a story about the author by her daughter. This is the first book that describes my mother’s condition from Alzheimer’s. Reeve Lindbergh writes of her own mother’s decline, not from the same disease but from a series of strokes. The cause is different, the effect was the same. My Mom also lost her speech; there have been “no more words” for the past two years. My mother, after four years in an Alzheimer’s facility is still very aware of what is going on around her. She knows all of the family and her dog. She reacts and responds to most questions. Even in her silence, she has a strong presence and a way to display appreciation and happiness by standing tall and smiling widely or displeasure by grimacing, gesturing and shaking her walker.
Reeve Lindbergh does a touching job of conveying the care of her well-known mother. She provides an emotional picture, which is what I have looked for, and not found, from other authors. Reeve describes the fact that what we may need most from our aging parents is the validation we felt we never received when we were younger. She does not sound, however, like a whining child who has forgotten to grow up; she simply mentions the feeling as a reality. Too often books on aging parents have an underlying and dominant self-serving sentiment, when what I want to hear is some uplifting inspiration for the family with a sympathetic understanding of the suffering. Reeve does that for me.
She is describing my Mom when she says, “Her gaze is direct, but I don’t know what she’s looking at. What are you looking at Mother. What do you see (81-82)?” and again when she says, “Her previous body-shyness has melted away, as she is touched over and over by careful, caring hand all day long…She has finally let herself go now, giving herself up with no comment at all, falling lightly as feathers and softly as snow into our waiting hands (80).”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh is part of my Mom’s generation. I see the similar concerns of being proper and worrying about what others might think. The differences between these women have melted as the ravages of aging create a similarity. I find some comfort in that.
Reeve Lindbergh mentions a dream she had in which the mother she remembered came to her and said about this new frail, silent mother, “You just have to take care of her.”
That is what we need to do for our aging parents. While that might mean a different approach for each of us, it helps explain my current role. Thank you, Reeve Lindbergh, for reminding me that my job for my mother is simply “to care of her.”
This is Practical Spirituality. This is what we do to help the ones we love.
Cheryl A. Chatfield, Ph.D. is a writer and teacher. Her small, nonprofit organization, The Nottingham Institute, promotes materials for everyday spirituality for those who don’t find answers in organized religions. Two of her books include Do It Yourself Guide To Spirituality: Seven Simple Steps and The Lost Principles, a novel. Visit http://nottinstitute.org to download these books and/or to sign up for a free monthly Practical Spirituality Newsletter.
|
|
SILENT BUTLER STERLING BY MEXICAN CO “JUAREZ” 20 OUNCES $800.00 |
|
|
Rare 800 German Sterling Silver Silent Butler Dish $575.00 |
|
|
Silent Butler Tray & Brush French Silverplate Louis XVI $295.00 |
|
|
EARLY 1800S SILENT BUTLER WOOD & BRASS ONLY 1 IVE SEEN! $175.00 |
Did Melanie Hamilton know of Scarlett’s and Ashley’s feelings for each other?
In Rhett Butler’s People, McCaig made her know of the connection between the two. I don’t know if Mitchell actually wanted Melly to know about her husband and her friend. I could see it both ways – as in either she knew nothing (was totally oblivious) or that she knew and kept silent. What do you think Mitchell intended?
I do think that Melly knew of the feelings that Scarlett and Ashley had for one another, but she also trusted them both. She knew that Ashley would never leave her – he could have had Scarlett years before and chose Melanie because “the Wilkes’ always marry their cousins.” Ashley was too noble to ever have that type of scandal and he would never disgrace Melanie or his family with an affair or a divorce. He was attracted to Scarlett – who wouldn’t be? She was beautiful and animated and I’m sure he was full of what if’s, but he was also realistic and knew that he could never be with Scarlett.
Melanie also knew Scarlett better than she knew herself. She knew that Scarlett only thought she loved Ashley – because he was the type of man she was taught she should marry. Melanie knew Rhett better than others and knew his heart. She knew that Rhett was in love with Scarlett, and Scarlett was too stubborn to realize that he was her soul mate. But Melanie always had faith in Scarlett and believed she would realize her true feelings for Rhett in time (when she grew up), and I think that is why she never let on about her knowledge of Ashley and Scarlett. I’m sure it bothered her, but she loved them more, so she would never allow others to gossip about them, and she would never verbalize her own fears to anyone. She was an intelligent, beautiful woman, inside and out – just too frail.
|
|
Silver Silent Butler Crumb Sweeper $38.99 Tired of those crumbs that always seem to appear on your beautiful table setting, detracting from its overall beauty? The silent butler is the right solution! This Crumb Sweeper is silver colored chrome and is sure to impress all your guests. Simpy roll it over you table cloth and presto, the crumbs are gone. A very practical instrument that will keep your table setting looking beautiful. Gif… |
|
|
Baroque by Wallace, Silverplate Silent Butler, Wood Handle, Footed Active Pattern: Yes, Circa: 1941, Manufacturer’s #276, Size: 9″ Long, 7-1/4″ Wide, 2-1/2″ High, Perfect for clearing away bread crumbs from the table. Receive free shipping on your order of $100 or more…. |
|
|
Butler $19.6 Butler |
silent butler ike 2008
